snap

damn, you bitches have so much drama.

too bad drama isn't your major, you'd do well in it. quit complaining, whining, and bitching.

man up and deal with it. you're an adult now. act like one. you're not going to get anything if you cry about it.

do something or get trampled on.

haha.

its fun how stuff works.

law of attraction my ass.

dreeezy

"sweatpants, hair tied, chillin' with no make up on.

that's when you the prettiest, i hope that you don't take it wrong"

what ever happened to some natural beauty, accented by a little bit of makeup and some backed up personality. im not saying look ugly on purpose, but don't try so hard so to eventually look so fake n caked-up with makeup.

simplicity

the end of freshman year....

as i sit here, in the big lounge, with my physio notes out (though. not really studying). awake because of some random girls talking loudly, i begin to reminisce of this year... it's been a hell of an adventure.

our college career technically started in the summer, during our freshman orientation. we were all new to the experience and our surroundings. we had no idea what to expect since we were just fresh out of high school and enjoying our summer. we met our first batch of friends, the people who we related to, or hung out with, first. the one's who we "added one facebook" and whatnot. having somewhat small talk conversations like "hey, how many classes are you taking?" once school started in august, we were thrown in to the college life. we got to experience first hand the lax attitude of some teachers, as well as the hands-off teaching styles of certain micro professors....

as expected, everyone hung out with the friends they made at orientation. the guys hung out with the guys, and.... everyone else did their own thing. we continued college, a few mishaps with the residence office, probation, blah blah. we lost two guys in the middle of first semester. jared and erik. though i did not really hang with jared that much, he, at times, could be really down to earth. erik correos, one of the nicest, generous, humble guys i have ever met. he was from nor-cal, so that meant he'd be away from his home town for a while. it was saddening when he broke the news to us, but it was for the best. he will always be remembered as the guy from nor-cal in casa5. after they left, we were left with 9 casa boys. since the semester was seeming to come to an end, i tried to get myself, and some of the guys as well, on track regarding school work. i might have gone overboard, and "nagged" tayo. my bad. after that little altercation, i started hanging out with marc and the girls, not for the wrong reasons, but since they provided a proper study environment. i got closer to them by the time christmas came around. winter break was, honestly, one of the best breaks i've had. despite getting fired from my work-study job (bitches...) i got closer to everyone. build-a-bears, top ramen, earrings, metro-park, heritage, movies, M shop, islands, ikea, AA sale, BJ's, LACC. it was all for the sake of going out, to just have fun and hang out with friends.

second semester started and, hell, we were one semester away from summer freedom. the first two weeks of school, we were out and off the mountain everyday. from going to santa monica, to promenade, to westwood, to topanga, and even inland to go laser tagging and get some buffalo wild wings. it was the most fun we've had. it didn't hit us, however, until the classes started getting more demanding. we realized we couldn't be going out every night, since we had to keep up with our studies as well. finally, springbreak came around, another period of fun and relaxation. hitting up 24 hours fitness, burbank, the valley. it was all fun. after springbreak, we hit a few bumps and bruises... regardless of whatever happened, we still seem to be "cool" with each other, small doses are good :] .

as far as school goes, im quiet confident in my "knowledge" of the material. the first of my finals started with sociology with, my love, professor melendres. it was a straight forward final, a few short answer and two essays. this was probably the only final i studied hard for, since, i spent most of the class on youtube, facebook, etc... the second final came to physio lab. i didn't study much for this since, all of chang's tests are straight forward, so i just reviewed the main points. psychology was the next one, on a monday. it was open book, so i didn't bother. english's final was a 5page essay due on wednesday. i spend tuesday afternoon writing my essay, even with certain distractions, i still managed to finish it before 6pm. wednesday also included our chemistry final. again, minimal study time accompanied by xbox live and gears of war2.. today is my physio lecture final, i just reviewed my notes, while i watched DFish knock Scola out...

is it bad that im comfortable with the amount of studying i've done? i often see other people study and stress way more than i do, and i wonder, should i be in the same position? frantically questioning my abilities to do well on a test? i've never been one to judge or whatever, but i find the best coping skill to deal with test anxiety is to relax, listen to some music, and review slowly. don't cram. it just overwhelms you.

anyways, summer is about.... 4-5 hours away (7...since i don't leave til 2pm..) but its right there. the weather certainly agrees. there's no definite answer to what this summer holds, but i hope we can all get together at some point, to reminisce about all the crap we've been through this year, as well as make new memories.

am i wearing the same clothes i wore last friday?

with the school year coming to an end, the "emo-ness" of everyone seems to be coming out, so here's my turn to be "emo." as i sit here, in psych class, we've watched two presentations already, both of which involving the sentimental memories of each presenter. this makes me reminisce about the memories of my own childhood, even the more recent memories which have been fabricated in the past year (my freshman year of college). from messing around in english class with father obrian, to speech class with halperin, even the useless studying of micro. we all had our fun. first semester. second semester was somewhat different, we were more comfortable with the people around us, we got used to the life and we were able to adjust accordingly. despite all the memories, we also encountered various bumps and bruises which made us not want to continue. we lost a number of friends to the treacheries of "private college life" but we all still remain a "family" among each other. now there is only a week left of school, the scent of summer is just right around the corner, its just a matter of getting through the dreaded finals but also, the inevitable consequences of our performances this year is starting to hit us. once christmas passed, and the second semester started, we just wanted to have fun. micro was over, our classes got less stressful, and we were one semester away from the end of school. for the first few weeks, it seemed like we were out EVERYDAY, going to the beach, going to the mall, going to the other mall, going to chino, walnut, where ever we could go, just to get away. the semester went on, A LOT of drama happened, but whatever. it only got us closer together, showing the true personalities of people. once i got kicked out of my dorm, seemed like everything was going to go downhill. however, it only made me want to strive harder, to show people that i can do it, regardless of my surroundings. with one more week, i still have a lot of prove, but i can almost feel it. reading my older posts, i've gone through a lot of emotional standpoints, some influenced by the bravery of other people, some provoked by the good, and bad sides of people. the post before this one was due to a possible breakdown right before finals. thank god for people to talk to. i told three people how i was feeling, and each person told me to "finish strong, you've worked so hard to get where you are now, finish up" if it weren't for the down-to-earth personality of the people around me, i don't know where i'd be. so. alphabetically, thanks tiff, sam, gianina, kristina, jocelyn, marc, brian, mike, diane, jj, mary, and guil. you've all influenced me this year, from either telling me to sit back and relax, to pushing me to do my best. though next year won't be as enjoyable as the one we just had, hopefully, we'll all be able to adjust, yet keep the same relationships we all created this freshman year of college.

do work

a year of stress, pain, suffering, doubt, irritation, frustration, contemplation, relaxation, concentration, arguing, harmony, strain, all culminating in the last 2 weeks of my freshman year of high school.

i've always felt that studying/test taking was second nature to me.

i rushed into college with the mentality of

"im gonna do it, no ones gonna stop me, im not gonna fail"

i've come to the realization that this type of attitude, though affective, is never permanent. there will always be that little factor, that X factor that will inhibit you from performing your best. what do i do? i've never really been able to achieve anything significant. i've always been on the sidelines, watching, and congratulating as others succeeded. i was always fine with that. i never really liked the limelight, due to the fact that i was never really one to seek it. i'd receive the occasional "hey you're smart" and my simple reply would be "not really, she's smarter" i graduated high school just shy of making the top 25% of my class (i was rank 26 out of 88). seemed fine to me, as the others deserved it. i never really asked for much. i don't expect much. i just do. i work, and if i work, i tend to pass just enough to get by. so what's happening with me now? have i met something that even I can't deal with? part of me wants to just sit down and quit.

and then she said, "believe in yourself, i know you can totally do it, there's nothing stopping you"

loving imperfection

haven't written in a while. i guess because i haven't been properly inspired in a while.

this one came while playing xbox~

i was watching "g's to gent's" and there was this guy who ended up having to slang rocks in order to support his family, especially his mother. is it possible to be so self-less that you wind up hurting everyone around you, usually by hurting yourself?

anyone with a right mind would say "always try to help yourself first before others." but is it that easy? some people can't stand being in luxury while the people around them are going through tough situations. they try their best to support each other in dire times, but there is only so much one could do. and if you don't pay attention, you may wind up hurting yourself in the process. on airplane flights, they say "please strap your oxygen mask first before strapping your child's." i guess it makes sense since, if you dont strap yours on and die, who will strap on the child's....?

oh and on another note....

miley cyrus' the climb

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be an uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side

It's the climb

may sound corny. but she's right. there's always going to be another obstacle standing in your way. there is always going to be hardships that you will have to go through. there will always be someone out there who is "better" than you. there's no stopping it. sometimes the bad situations will get the best of you. possibly even overwhelming you. the only option that leaves us, however, is to get up and try again. but its not about talking shortcuts, nor is it even about getting to the end. its about "the climb" its about how we go about doing things. applied to our lives, its how we live our life. we can go about it complaining, as things usually don't go our way, or we can make the best of bad situations. i know i may have said this before, and i always say it.. but:

life is full of obstacles, overwhelming us,

getting us to think we're not good enough.

but thats what makes life worth it.

the little bumps we go through,

the imperfections,

the trials and tribulations.

nothing can compare to that.