do work

a year of stress, pain, suffering, doubt, irritation, frustration, contemplation, relaxation, concentration, arguing, harmony, strain, all culminating in the last 2 weeks of my freshman year of high school.

i've always felt that studying/test taking was second nature to me.

i rushed into college with the mentality of

"im gonna do it, no ones gonna stop me, im not gonna fail"

i've come to the realization that this type of attitude, though affective, is never permanent. there will always be that little factor, that X factor that will inhibit you from performing your best. what do i do? i've never really been able to achieve anything significant. i've always been on the sidelines, watching, and congratulating as others succeeded. i was always fine with that. i never really liked the limelight, due to the fact that i was never really one to seek it. i'd receive the occasional "hey you're smart" and my simple reply would be "not really, she's smarter" i graduated high school just shy of making the top 25% of my class (i was rank 26 out of 88). seemed fine to me, as the others deserved it. i never really asked for much. i don't expect much. i just do. i work, and if i work, i tend to pass just enough to get by. so what's happening with me now? have i met something that even I can't deal with? part of me wants to just sit down and quit.

and then she said, "believe in yourself, i know you can totally do it, there's nothing stopping you"

loving imperfection

haven't written in a while. i guess because i haven't been properly inspired in a while.

this one came while playing xbox~

i was watching "g's to gent's" and there was this guy who ended up having to slang rocks in order to support his family, especially his mother. is it possible to be so self-less that you wind up hurting everyone around you, usually by hurting yourself?

anyone with a right mind would say "always try to help yourself first before others." but is it that easy? some people can't stand being in luxury while the people around them are going through tough situations. they try their best to support each other in dire times, but there is only so much one could do. and if you don't pay attention, you may wind up hurting yourself in the process. on airplane flights, they say "please strap your oxygen mask first before strapping your child's." i guess it makes sense since, if you dont strap yours on and die, who will strap on the child's....?

oh and on another note....

miley cyrus' the climb

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be an uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side

It's the climb

may sound corny. but she's right. there's always going to be another obstacle standing in your way. there is always going to be hardships that you will have to go through. there will always be someone out there who is "better" than you. there's no stopping it. sometimes the bad situations will get the best of you. possibly even overwhelming you. the only option that leaves us, however, is to get up and try again. but its not about talking shortcuts, nor is it even about getting to the end. its about "the climb" its about how we go about doing things. applied to our lives, its how we live our life. we can go about it complaining, as things usually don't go our way, or we can make the best of bad situations. i know i may have said this before, and i always say it.. but:

life is full of obstacles, overwhelming us,

getting us to think we're not good enough.

but thats what makes life worth it.

the little bumps we go through,

the imperfections,

the trials and tribulations.

nothing can compare to that.