scratch that last note~

sometimes people (and even friends) judge you based on situations that you are not able to control. you have no way of manipulating what will happen, but you do your best to make it better. still it doesn't make it better, and you become an asshole because of it. its all your fault this happened. its all your fault that occurred. and even when they have nothing to do with the matter (and that they're not even involved) they still have their input.
i've always said "i hate generalizing," classifying a group of people into a certain category. but, previously, i generalized. i generalized the very notion of "friend". sometimes they are NOT always there for you. sometimes you can't count on them. sometimes no one is there to support you. at these times all you have is yourself. yourself and your family.
im not saying "friends are useless, dont have them," im just saying that sometimes, not ALL of them can have the same notion of friendship.

then there is the concept of "sell out"

"One who betrays a cause for personal advancement."  

(according to urbandictionary.com)

this phrase is tossed around a lot, and is usually used to describe people and their actions.
and apparently, im one too. but not for "personal advancement"..i guess?
so. i lied. the truth came out one way or another, and it came out worse than expected. ok, i can deal with that.
but does "selling out" also include telling the truth to higher authorities who hold significant power that can affect your future?
if so, then. dam im all sold out. hmm
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its kind of strange how people act in certain situations. they can be your best friends, then after an event, they can resent you. then what made us act like friends in the first place? were we even friends? or just simple acquaintances.  

so. this sounds kind of emo.  so. i pulled a bitch move. get over it.  let's do what actual friends do and support each other in times of hardship.  

if not, get out of my way and let me solve my problems myself.